Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Ted Kennedy, K.B.E.


Addressing a joint session of Congress, visiting Prime Minister Gordon Brown, whose popularity back in Britain is only slightly above head lice, paid tribute to the achievements of Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) and announced that Queen Elizabeth II "has awarded an honorary knighthood" to the lone survivor of Joseph P. Kennedy's boys. Since he's not a British national, he can't bear the title "Sir", but he will be referred to as Ted Kennedy, K.B.E. (Knight of the British Empire).

Oh, turn it down, Teddy! You're a republican! An anti-imperialist! Your knees touch the ground in deference to no monarch, although your knees have probably touched many a bathroom floor due to Crown Royal Whiskey.

Say "Thanks, but no thanks" and add a "Oliver Cromwell can kiss my big Irish ass" for the fun of it.

Oh, well.

Anyway, some suggest that Prime Minister Brown is hoping that President Obama's immense popularity will boost his own standing. I highly doubt it. You're done, Mr. Prime Minister. Contrary to what Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews will tell you, Obama's not Jesus and he can't bring things back from the dead.

Prime Minister Brown's oppositions are David Cameron of the Conservative Party and Nick Clegg of the Liberal Democrats.

Here's Cameron:



Here's Clegg:



And here's Brown:


Basically, it's a race between GQ, Men's Style, and Fangoria.

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