The First 100 Days

When asked to opine on President Obama's performance during these First Hundred Days, MSNBC's Chris Matthews replied, "Personally, I'm a bit shocked. I'm surprised that Obama hasn't accomplished more within the first Hundred Days. Especially considering how he created the universe in only six."

Oh, I kid.

R.I.P. Bea Arthur

Bea Arthur, best known as the title character in "Maude" and Dorothy in "The Golden Girls", passed away three days ago.

"Maude" was a wonderful spin-off of the great "All in the Family." Whereas Archie Bunker was a fiery right-winger, Maude, a cousin of Archie's wife Edith, was an equally fiery liberal. The two hated each other ever since she caught him drawing devil ears on a photo of Franklin Roosevelt, regarded by Maude as "a saint."

Anyway, in tribute to Bea Arthur, here are two clips featuring her as Maude. In the first clip, Archie and Maude heatedly debate Franklin Roosevelt's legacy. In the second, Maude argues with her future husband and her neighbor about Hubert Humphrey and Richard Nixon.

Song of the Day

And here's Bush. The band, not President Obama's immediate predecessor.

I haven't heard this song in a while and haven't seen the video in an even longer while. Not since elementary school. The days when MTV still played music videos.

Damn weather (or should I say "weather for the damned?")

It’s scorching outside -- the natural consequence of same-sex couples exchanging wedding vows in Iowa, right, Conservatives?

I just hope that the eventual downpour of fire and sulfur doesn’t hit before Friday. Maybe the Almighty will grant Americans the mercy of seeing Wolverine before laying His wrath upon us.

:::sigh:::

I’m genuinely pleased at the progressive victory in the heartland, although my jubilation is undercut by the feeling that the Iowa State Supreme Court's landmark decision will be overturned via ballot proposition in 2010.

So congratulations to the happy couples. Enjoy it while you can.

Let's hope I'm wrong in my prediction.

Norm Coleman

Once upon a time, Norm Coleman, you were a pot-smoking, long-haired, antiwar hippie.



Hard to believe. You even celebrated your twentieth birthday in Woodstock. So I'm quite positive that you've seen Easy Rider. All self-respecting hippies did.

You'll recall that towards the end of that film, Peter Fonda comes to a morose realization:

"We blew it."

And Mr. Coleman, I hope you too arrive at that realization.

Al Franken may be the comedian, but you're the fucking joke. And the people of Minnesota have stopped laughing. You lost. Your Senate career has ended. So pack up your things. Go home. Write your book. Appear on Fox News every week alongside your buddies Tom DeLay and Rick Santorum to offer your worthless analyses.

Try to remember your old self and go smoke a blunt. You'll feel better.

Because the people have spoken.

GTFO.

Strattera and Stuff

Last week, at the urging of a good friend, I set up an appointment with The Shrink for the first time in more than a year. And you know what? I'm infinitely glad that I went. Prior visits to The Shrink weren't filled with much conversation. I only came to obtain a prescription for antidepressants, not to communicate the anxiety and unhappiness weighing on my mind.

When I went this past Monday, I opened up a little more. It was quite liberating, to be truthful. I'm going to make an honest effort to see him every month.

This most recent visit also brought a new pill into my system: Strattera, which is designed to combat ADHD. Since taking it, I feel significantly calmer. My thoughts aren't racing as much. I'm not as paranoid. My focus is sharper. (I realize my reliance on meds will earn the reprimands of you Scientologists, but until you get E.T. to come down here and touch my head with his glowing finger, I'm sticking with psychiatry and the meds.)

There are noticeable side effects, though. For one, I get about three hours of sleep at most per night. Strangely, I don't feel unrested upon waking. Another side effect is a near-complete diminution of the sex drive. Not that I've been getting on the road much, if you know what I mean, but still.

All in all, I'm feeling quite well. I'm not too depressed anymore except when reflecting on how I impulsively quit my job. The Boss -- technically, The Former Boss -- says I can reapply (and I did) but I'm not holding my breath on that. I've applied to other places (Blockbuster, Barnes & Noble, Best Buy) and hopefully one of them will respond soon.

I do need some time away from my house, although I no longer feel the pressing need to hightail it for the other coast. I still want to take a trip overseas by myself -- surprisingly, my dad has no problem with it -- but I need to plan it out. There's this site I found, which lists some overseas volunteer programs, either short-term or long-term. You have to register and accepted for a specific program first, of course, but I'm sure at least one will welcome me. It'll cost about $700 or so. Not too shabby. Lodging is provided.

http://www.volunteerabroad.com/search.cfm

But we'll see how things go.

Anyway, during my free time (hopefully I won't have too much of it in the weeks ahead) I've been catching up on movie watching. I highly, HIGHLY recommend Milk, Frost/Nixon (Langella's Nixon is even better than Hopkins's, IMHO), Vicky Christina Barcelona, and The Wrestler. Great stuff.

And on May 2, 2009 I hope to see a Filipino beat the fuck out of a Brit. You're going down, Hatton. Putang ina mo!

Which I think is the equivalent of saying "the cunt of your mother." At least that's what my dad tells me.

Fare Thee Well Gone Away, There's Nothing Left To Say

Okay, maybe I have a little something left to say.

Just know I'll always be around, people. Not physically, but in spirit.

Whenever a customer asks a stupid question, I'll be there. Whenever you hear an inappropriate remark, I'll be there. Whenever you hear a badly sung rendition of The Pogues or a poor excuse of an Irish or British accent, I'll be there.

And, of course, whenever there's free food, I'll be there.

Remember that Steinbeck is better than Hemingway (I'm kind of paying homage to GRAPES OF WRATH in this post, in case you haven't noticed). Remember that ALL THREE "Godfather" movies are awesome.

And whoever wins the Rewards contests over the next few months, just thank God I'm not there to kick your fucking ass.

The Second Coming?

I used to tell people that Barack H. Obama is not Jesus H. Christ. However, I then read this article saying that his candidacy helped bring The Dead back to life. Maybe I was wrong about the Prez, haha!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090417/ap_en_mu/the_dead_return

Obama & ASU

"His body of work is yet to come. That's why we're not recognizing him with a degree at the beginning of his presidency."

So Arizona State University won't give President Obama an honorary degree. I'm sure the President, who bears a degree from Harvard Law School, has been shedding many a tear over this slight.

Kumar Goes to the White House

Kal Penn, known best for his performance as the irrepressible pothead Kumar, is taking leave of acting to work for the Obama Administration. In what capacity, I'm unsure. Let's just hope that Penn's hiring is a signal that President Obama is amenable to easing this country's too-severe drug laws, haha.

Best of luck to Penn.

Knowledge

Knowledge may be power, but it's not necessarily an aphrodisiac.