Sighs and Cheers

A rather shitty day at work.

My duties as a member of the Inventory Process Team (which some of my co-workers redundantly refer to as the IPT Team) entail, among other things, sorting the books, games, and other paraphernalia onto their respective carts and shelving them. Didn't accomplish much of that today due to numerous calls to back up register and the high volume of customers, some of whom were quite pissy, seeking assistance. This one guy was pestering me for help so much that I was surprised he didn't ask me to hold his dick for him when he went to take a leak. I was also assigned the task of having to move several sections of books.

Oy.

Oh, and today was also the second of the three AARP Appreciation Days. Any AARP member receives a 20% discount of most items at The Store and our Sister Stores throughout the country. I love that -- AARP Appreciation Days. Gee, guys -- thanks for being old!

THANKS FOR BEING OLD, SIR!
(He also happens to be a war hero. I don't recall whether he fought for the Confederacy or the Union, though.)

And speaking of old: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MATTHEW J. FALLON, my honorary big brother, who turns the big 30 tomorrow! Yes, you're the strangest and arguably most psychotic person in The Store; I've recently flipped through The Book of Revelations to see if there is any mention of Satan coming to Earth, putting on a black flat cap, and calling himself "Matt Fallon." You have the stoicism of a Mafia hitman (that's the Italian in you; the fact that you constantly threaten me with physical harm lends credence to the hitman thing) and a devastating wit (that's the Irish in you, I guess; Tiocfaidh ar la and all that crap) of which I've often been the target.

Joshing aside, you're a fucking awesome chap, sir. Thanks for helping me a better worker; we've spared Mr. Murphy a few aneurysms, eh? He probably doesn't regret coming into the Matrix as much anymore. And thanks for helping me be somewhat less awkward. The way I eat isn't "frightening" anymore, right? I eat "like a human being" now, do I not? However, I think you gave terrible advice at the bowling alley: "Just go up to her and whip it out." Yeah, right.

It didn't work the first time I tried it:

Once again I apologize for any mortification engendered by my drunken ass that night at The Office. I hope this doesn't mean we can't hang out anymore. Thanks for being cool about it and even bigger thanks for perceiving that my mind wasn't stable enough to master my automobile on 22 that rather chilly New Year's night.

I'll probably bawl like a little bitch if you ever leave The Store. So don't. At least not until I'm gone.

Cheers! And, of course, if you ever need anything, let me know.

From Charissa's 2008 Halloween Bash. After weeks and weeks of pestering, I finally acquiesced to playing Short-Round to his Indy.

The first in what is apparently a series of drawings featuring me encountering superheroes and supervillains. You're quite talented, Mr. Fallon, I do hope your continue to pursue your dream. Furthermore, I'm honored that I could inspire in some way, haha.